In the diet ditcher academy we have been digging through everyone’s diet history as a way of showing them where dieting has led them over and over again.
As we started digging through I noticed that more than half of them started their diet rollercoaster with weight watchers and many times they did this diet as a child with their mother.
From what I gather doing weight watchers with your daughter was the thing to do in the 80s and 90s.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame these mothers at all. I truly believe that our parents were doing the best that they could with the tools they had available to them. They didn’t have access to Scientific research or mental health resources like we do today. They relied on newspaper and television ads to educate themselves.
Most of the women that I work with have been dieting their entire lives. They’ve tried everything out there. But still they struggle with her weight. Not to mention they feel out of control around food and will even avoid social situations where food will be present. And most of these same women started dieting as a child and the very first day that they did was the same when their mother was doing.
The well-meaning comments as a child about how “chubby” you’re getting, or that you need to stop eating so many sweets because getting a little porky. Those words cut deep and they are never forgotten.
Mothers if you are reading this:
Do not talk about dieting or losing weight in front of your children they are listening.
Do not make comments about your child’s body or her weight. You have no idea the impact of your words and how long those words will affect your child and I have witnessed the psychological damage of women in their 30s all the way up to their 60s hanging onto these words.
These words deteriorate your child’s self-worth and as an adulthood this looks like settling for shitty friendships and relationships where people constantly take advantage of you because you don’t believe that you deserve better.
This looks like never taking chances or opportunities because you doubt your abilities or feel that you don’t deserve the opportunities.
Do not put your body down and pick yourself apart in front of your children. They look up to you and think of you as a goddess and if you start complaining about how fat and ugly you are they will start to question their own worth and value on this planet.
And if you are that woman who started your first diet with your mom or have been a victim of her “well-meaning” but extremely hurtful words find compassion in your heart for her.
It’s very likely that she was/is extremely tormented by her own body and insecurities and unfortunately projected those insecurities onto you. I mean just imagine hating yourself so much that you pressure your own children to engage in dieting with you….because no one wants to drown alone.
Your mom was in pain And unfortunately when people don’t work on themselves or heal their own trauma the ones around them become victim to their projectile pain, thus creating a domino effect of generational trauma.
You can’t ask your grandmother or your mother to heal their shit. But you can make a choice to put an end to this cycle and your family.