When I first start working with a client, there is typically a lot of resistance in letting go of the diet mentality in the beginning. At first they express how miserable dieting has made them. The tracking of every point or calorie.
Making a beautiful dinner for their family, while they sit and eat their crappy "diet approved" dinner.
The anxiety and guilt they feel when they get invited out for drinks and appetizers.
Being consumed by thoughts of food and their weight everyday.
They are so relieved to hear that there is another way of life because they couldn't bear the idea of tracking calories until they die!
A few weeks into the process, however, there is a shift...
Doubt that this process is going to work.
Doubt in themselves.
Fear. Oh the fear...
They suddenly realize that they can no longer relate to the women around them. They have nothing to add to the conversations that are being had as these women all discuss the latest weight loss program that they are following, the new "keto cookies" they baked over the weekend, and you wouldn't believe that the tacos they made last night were paleo because they were just "so good".
Diet culture is EVERYWHERE. To the point that we think disordered eating is "normal" or even healthy. Why? Because everyone is doing it mom!
We built community around our latest obsession much like a heroin addict surrounds themselves with other heroin addicts. Because if everyone is doing it, it isn't a problem right?
I want you to take time this week to reflect on your relationships in your life...particularly the ones you have with other women. How often does diet, weight loss, exercise, or food come up in conversation? How many times have you made a pact with your girl gang to lose weight together?
When we focus on these superficial conversations, we miss out on the deep stuff. Why can't every conversation that we have with the women in our lives be like those 2am heart-to-heart conversations that we have on the living room floor after too much vodka?
It is easier for us to fixate on our physical bodies and create conversations around them than it is to say, "Hey, I am really struggling as a mom right now. I feel alone and unsupported by my partner. I feel like I am failing."
We focus on our physical bodies because we are afraid of the discomfort and uneasiness in our emotional bodies.
Start evaluating your friendships and filtering through the types of conversations that you have with these girlfriends. I am not saying that you need to cut these women loose. In fact, I suggest you embrace them, dig to the deep shit, the REAL shit. And hey, maybe show them this article. They may be completely unaware that your conversations are almost always about your physical bodies.